but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
