Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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