problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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