She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
