i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
