I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
