He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
