You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
