before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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