he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
