Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
