stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
