fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
