Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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