We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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