I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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