i just had sex bonerless
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
