I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
