The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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