HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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