Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
