she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
