What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
