she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
