Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
