Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
