We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
