Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
