You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
