508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
how does that bad decision feel?
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