I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
