We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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