I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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