Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
