We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
