I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
