I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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