? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
