wanna go halves on a baby?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
