This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You were trust falling into bushes
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
