So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
