she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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