Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
