Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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