Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
