Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
