Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
