you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
