I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
