her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
