He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
