I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
