Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
