We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
