I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
